Louis and Tawny 8: Dreams and Reality
by tdls
Summary: Continuation, part 2. More meta. (Complete)
1. Chapter 1: Night

Obvious disclaimer: I don't own Even Stevens. Nope.

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Louis opened his eyes in the middle of the night to find Tawny sleeping peacefully in front of him. The sight of her beautiful figure, the feeling of her love radiating to him even as her eyes were closed, wrested him away from the dream that he had just had and back into reality. A wondrous reality in which he was blessed with her and her love, a reality that was far better than anything in his dreams. A reality so wondrous that all that his dreams could do was to disturb its idyllic perfection, to take him away, if only for a night's sleep, from all that he held dear in it.

There used to be a time when it was the other way around, of course. He recalled how he used to dream of her back in the day, daydreams and night dreams, as he was discovering his feelings for her and had no idea what feelings she had for him. Dreams were the wondrous world where he liked to be, as the old song went. That is, until dreams became reality and reality eventually became better than the dreams – and the dreams, in turn, couldn't be anything but worse than the reality.

Louis kept staring fondly at Tawny. It wasn't the same looking at her with her eyes closed, those deep blue eyes that he would look into as if he was searching for stars in a night sky. Yet he could feel her loving presence all the same, every breath flowing out of her body merging into the air that he breathed in, the heart that was so full of love for him beating with precious life. He could feel a painfully acute need for her, a longing to immerse himself in the reality that she so magically embodied and that he had so badly missed for the last few hours.

"Tawny…" he let himself whisper without even realizing. He immediately hoped that it wouldn't wake her, that it wouldn't disturb the sleep of this most precious of souls. But Tawny opened her eyes, as if only the slightest pronouncement of her name from his lips was enough. There was an affectionate smile on her face, as if by default, as if by virtue of his gaze resting on her eyes even while they had been shut.

"What is it, my love?" she whispered. She didn't have to wait for an answer. She could see the need and longing in his eyes, telling her how much he had missed her for the few hours in which she couldn't be with him. Yet she had felt that he had been with her the whole time, the feeling of his loving gaze resting on her eyes even while they were shut, the feeling of his loving presence flowing out with every breath that he exhaled and merging into the air that she breathed in. If only she could make him feel her in the same way, she thought. If only she could step into his dreams, letting him know that she was there for him not just in reality, but also in dreams.

Tawny extended her arms and embraced Louis, who embraced her back vigorously, burying his head in her chest, covering every square inch of himself with her loving presence. She gently stroked his hair, letting him feel the tingling sensation of her fingers running through it. She closed her eyes, taking in the feeling of being at one with him, the fire in both their hearts merging into a unity that expanded to fill every part of their bodies.


	2. Chapter 2: Morning

Louis and Tawny sat in silence at the breakfast table the next morning. Tawny glanced over at Louis, her eyes meeting his with a reassuring look. "What was on your mind last night, Louis?" she asked calmly.

Louis took a deep breath and focused his eyes on the table, gathering his thoughts. "It was the dream that I had, Tawny," he began. "It was a strange kind of dream. A series of flashbacks, beginning in junior high. Beginning with the moment when our eyes met for the first time, the first day of junior high." He looked back up at her, a meaningful look in his eyes.

He went on. "You know how it was back then, Tawny. Every now and then, I managed to produce these moments of sincerity, moments when I made it clear how much you meant to me and how much I needed you. Beginning with the time when I asked you to help me with that Larry Beale speech, through all those times when I admitted my mistakes to you, when I admitted, in one way or another, how much I liked you. That time I auditioned for SACCY and managed to stop you from going. That time I confessed my love to you, thinking it would be our final goodbye."

He paused again before continuing. "And in the dream that I had last night… I was taken back to all these moments in a series of flashbacks, except that I couldn't muster the courage to do what I wanted to do, to say what I wanted to say. Every scene faded away before I could say it. And it all ended with our awkward goodbye before I would move to DC. Except… Except it felt so different, like I knew I was losing you forever, having missed every chance that I had ever gotten." He squeezed his eyes shut and placed his hand over them.

Tawny gave Louis a sympathetic look, making an effort to suppress the acute pang in her heart. It pained her to think that Louis was suffering emotionally for no reason, suffering through dreams that had no basis in reality. It pained her to think that Louis was living in dreams and in the past when the reality had become so much better.

"Louis," she finally said. "Do you sometimes feel anxiety about…about losing me, for whatever reason?"

Louis fixed his eyes on Tawny's and let out a sigh. He felt more at ease, in spite of all the emotions that the dream had unleashed from the recesses of his mind. Because Tawny was helping him to confront them, lending him her wisdom and her sincerity, as she had always done.

"I do sometimes, yes," Louis said calmly. "It's a strange kind of anxiety. I sometimes pause to think about what you are to me and what you've been to me all these years. And I can't help but think you're all that I have and all that I've ever had. I remember when I was the hopeless troublemaker back in the day. No one believed in me, no one thought anything good would ever come out of me. Except you. Something must have told me that moment I first saw you, that you were my only hope. And over all these years, you always brought the best out of me, Tawny. If it hadn't been for you… I can't imagine what my life would be like."

He paused, the expression on his face darkening with a strange kind of fear, an abstract fear of what could have been. "Sometimes… Sometimes it feels too magical to be real, Tawny. I still remember that moment I first saw you, and all the feelings that it unleashed, like it was yesterday. And it sometimes feels as if everything since then has been a dream and I'm about to wake back up into reality. With everything the way it always was and was always going to be."

Tawny let out a sigh. No one could fill her heart with joy like Louis could, but no one could break it like he could, either. And it broke her heart to see Louis entertaining such thoughts. Yet she understood what it was that he needed from her. He needed from her the magic that she was to him, the magic that was ever so real. She took a deep breath, summoning her strength, and took both his hands in hers. "You know, Louis," she began. "I myself sometimes pause to marvel at how it could have been possible, the two of us. And it was the two of us that made it happen, Louis. It was the power of our love for each other that made it happen, against all the odds. This is something that we should cherish, Louis, not something that should make us fear what could or couldn't have been." She grasped his hands more tightly. "We've overcome everything that could have come between us over the years, Louis. All those moments we came close to losing each other, only to come out of it stronger, appreciating each other more than ever. There's nothing we have to fear. Nothing but fear itself."

Louis nodded slowly, letting her words sink in. "You're right, Tawny," he finally said. "There's no doubt in my mind that you're right. And yet… It's almost as if I entertain certain thoughts and certain fears in spite of myself, in spite of what reason tries to tell me." He paused. "It's as if I used to live in dreams so much that I just can't do without them. And now that the reality has become so much better than anything in my dreams, it's as if the only thing they can do is to disturb that reality as much as possible." He sighed.

Tawny looked intently into Louis's eyes. She lifted her hand and ran it gently over the side of his neck, across his shoulders, and down his arms, causing a tingling sensation. He took in the radiance emanating from her face, the strong yet affectionate look in her eyes, the power of her love sweeping away any anxieties that the power of her reasoning couldn't sweep away. "You just have to believe in the power of reality, Louis. You have to believe in me and yourself, the two of us."

Louis nodded slowly, letting her words sink in, feeling the power in her words merge with her loving presence into something magical.


	3. Chapter 3: Night

Louis opened his eyes in the middle of the night to find himself lying alone in bed in his old room. Everything in his room was how it had been up to junior high, the mess and the gadgets strewn about. He himself had aged up to the present, but, as the unfamiliar and yet all too familiar sight of his surroundings told him, he had never grown up. And Tawny wasn't there. And he knew it was because Tawny wasn't there.

He cried. He cried like a little boy longing frantically for his mother, because that was what Tawny was to him, in a way. She was the love of his life, but she was also its guiding light. She was his wife and his best friend, but she was also his teacher and his mentor. She was what held his world together, the source of life, love, strength, inspiration. She was the magic that had changed his life forever, given it the precious meaning that it had never had before. His only hope. And it was somehow all a dream and nothing had changed.

"Tawny…" he managed to whisper in between his tears. As if calling her name could bring her back. Not too long ago, he could feel her reassuring him as she had always done, telling him to believe in the power of reality. And all he was now left with was the dream.

"Louis." Tawny's gentle yet forceful voice rang in his ears. And there she was, all of a sudden, lying in front of him, a look of affectionate concern on her face. She extended her arms and embraced him. "Louis, it's okay. It's okay," she just said. And he just remained still, taking in her loving presence, afraid that anything he did would take it away, whether it was reality or just a dream.

Silent tears flowed down Tawny's cheeks. It pained her acutely to see Louis suffering to the point of paralysis. Yet she understood, more than ever, that he needed from her the magic, the magic that was ever so real. And she had to believe in herself so that he could believe in her and himself, the two of them. She made an effort to turn her tears into strength and poured every ounce of it that she could muster into her embrace, letting him feel the full force of her love. She could feel the walls of her heart dissolving and her heart pouring out in full flow into his.

Louis recoiled slightly as he felt the uncanny power of it all. He could feel her strength flowing into him, her heart pouring out into his. And just then, he could feel a teardrop falling from her cheek onto his. He drew back from her embrace to look into her eyes, the tears trailing out of them laced with loving affection and the strength and determination etched into her face. It was then that it all dawned on him. He cried again, crying this time at how foolish he had been, how he could have doubted for even one second the wondrous reality that Tawny so magically embodied. He now embraced her back vigorously, burying his head in her chest, covering every square inch of himself with her loving presence. She gently stroked his hair, letting him feel the tingling sensation of her fingers running through it. She closed her eyes, taking in the feeling of being at one with him, the fire in both their hearts merging into a unity that expanded to fill every part of their bodies.


	4. Chapter 4: Morning

Louis stood in the kitchen early the next morning, getting ready to make breakfast. His mind was full of Tawny and what she had made him feel last night, her wondrous ability to make him understand. And he understood. He understood how their hearts were inseparably at one, how his pain was her pain, yet how she could turn her pain into their strength. Such was the power of her love, greater than anything that dreams could fathom.

Louis looked up to find Tawny standing at the entryway to the kitchen, an affectionate smile on her face. She walked up to him and took both his hands in hers. The two of them just looked deeply into each other's eyes as if they were searching for stars in a night sky.

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"So you did it again, doc," Louis finally said at the breakfast table, humorously but sincerely. "You made me understand. You opened my eyes last night. You made me realize just how foolish I had been." He paused, the expression on his face turning more serious. "I… I won't do it to you again, Tawny. I promise."

Tawny smiled and took hold of Louis's hand. "Louis," she began. "There's something I have to tell you, in case you ever have feelings of anxiety again." He fixed his eyes expectantly on hers.

She went on. "For many years now, I've prayed for you and for the two of us, Louis. I've prayed for the two of us to be together, even when we were just friends, before we realized what we felt for each other." She paused. "I'm not a particularly religious person, Louis. But I do believe that some things require faith. And that some things happen for a reason, perhaps for a reason greater than what we can comprehend."

Louis kept staring into Tawny's deep blue eyes, which somehow seemed to take on an infinite quality, as if the depths of the galaxy were somehow contained in them.

She went on. "You said it yourself, Louis. There is something magical about our love and about how it could have all been possible. And I think there is something sacred about it. Something that makes me believe that we will always remain inseparably at one, that not even death can do us part. There is nothing on this earth that can come between you and me, Louis. Nothing in your dreams, let alone in reality."

Tawny smiled as Louis continued to look at her with adoration. "So don't you ever forget that," she said. He just nodded slowly, letting her words sink in, feeling the power in her words merge with her loving presence into something magical.


	5. Chapter 5: Night

Louis opened his eyes in the middle of the night to a blinding light that shined on him as he lay in bed. He squinted to make out the figure that was emerging from the light. It was Tawny, dressed in an immaculate white robe with a pair of wings protruding from her shoulders. She smiled at him as she knelt down at his bedside and took both his hands in hers. He smiled back. He couldn't tell if it was just a dream or reality. It didn't matter. He knew that this was what she was to him in reality. And if it was just a dream, it was one that finally did justice to reality, one that he could finally live in.

Tawny was looking intently into Louis's eyes. He could feel something flow from her hands into his, that magical thing that dreams must be made of, yet something that he had felt so many times in reality. All of a sudden, he found himself on his feet, the immaculate white robe and the wings matching hers. Tawny just smiled at him, the angelic smile that he knew so well and loved so much from real life. Before he knew it, the two of them were flying, away from the confines of their room and into the unknown, their hands held. They flew past a dizzying array of indiscernible images as they traveled through an unknown dimension, Tawny's firm grip guiding them onward.

They finally stopped as they arrived at a scene from a distant past. It was the moment their eyes met for the first time, the first day of junior high. Louis and Tawny watched the scene with a bird's eye view as it unfolded, the little boy smiling radiantly up at the little girl as his eyes met hers. Louis just stared at the scene in reflection, trying to fathom the feelings that it unleashed. Tawny gave him a meaningful smile and beckoned him toward their next stop. One flashback followed another as the two of them revisited the moments of undiluted sincerity and unimpeded joy from childhood. Louis smiled as he saw his younger self tell hers how he messed everything up, how she had the two most beautiful eyebrows he had ever seen, how he wished her good luck over at SACCY, how he loved her so much. He normally would have burst in tears at the sight of all these moments at once, but this time, he didn't feel the urge to cry. All he felt was strength, the strength flowing continuously from Tawny's hand into his. And in it he found joy, boundless joy. His eyes met hers once more. The two of them looked deeply into each other's eyes as if they were searching for stars in a night sky, an infinite night sky that extended to the unknown depths of the galaxy, transcending reality as they knew it.

And as he looked into her eyes, he eventually found in them the sight of Tawny lying in front of him, opening her eyes. He realized that he had just opened his eyes in the middle of the night, that they were back in the reality of their bedroom. They exchanged a meaningful look, understanding where they had just been and what they had just experienced. They glanced down at their tightly interlocking hands and back up into each other's eyes, looking deeply into them, beginning to see in them the stars in an infinite night sky.


End file.
